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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships, Self-Love

Vulnerability Is The Key To Life

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • May 10, 2014

Some of you may know, who have been following my blog posts over the last year, of the challenges that I’ve faced within my personal life and career. I can say that these last 10 months have been some of the most emotionally taxing, mentally draining and equally as uplifting and fulfilling that I have ever experienced.

For those of you who don’t know, about 10 months ago my wife and I decided to separate and I had to leave her and face a life changing direction in a way that I had never expected or even anticipated. The whole experience literally turned my world upside down and I was faced with a reality that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to make it through. I left Canada, where I was living at the time, and returned back to Australia to be close to my family and to heal.

I went through so many emotions, I can’t even begin to count – from sadness to loneliness to grief to anger to frustration – the list could go on. I was an absolute mess and totally lost. Never in my wildest dreams did I foresee what I was faced with. There were moments when my emotions were so overwhelming, that I didn’t know whether it was worth being where I was. In my mind, it wasn’t what I had planned and I couldn’t accept what had happened.

Thankfully, I was able to hold it together and I started the slow and often confronting journey of healing this very raw and open wound. I spent most of my time isolated from the world, working on myself, speaking to very close friends who were there to guide and support me through the process. I put myself into my career and the work that inspired me. I did what I could to push myself through, while doing all the personal development work to get me to the other side.

I had relapses along the way and fell into moments of depression and deep sadness and then about 4 months ago, in February of 2014, I hit a brick wall that I hadn’t seen before. And believe me when I tell you, I had hit many of them in the last 10 months. I remember walking into my parents room at the time and just feeling totally lost. I had no idea who I was anymore, what I was supposed to be doing with my life or where I was meant to be. I seriously felt like giving up and then, by chance, the universe delivered someone into my life who brought me back from the abyss I found myself in. For the first time in a very long time, I hired a coach to help me out.

We spent 6 weeks working through my stuff and it was in those six weeks that I found who I am. I remembered who that guy is. I discovered my purpose, tapped back into my mission and I found the love I’d lost hidden in my heart the whole time. After 9 challenging months being separated from the one person that has meant so much to me in this world, I found her again in my heart and literally, 5 minutes after I had that experience, she contacted me.

This post is dedicated to her and to those of you out there who choose to stay hidden and don’t allow your true self to shine through. Since that breakthrough and the start of what I look forward to being the career I’ve been dreaming about, my heart has opened like never before. I have felt connected to others, embraced others and chosen to go down a path of really giving so much of who I am to so many people out there who really need it.

I’m not sure if any of you have ever truly felt the loss of someone who means so much to you but if you have, you will all know how painful that can be. The loss of my wife was excruciating but it taught me something that, through our marriage and the many years of my life before that, I hadn’t yet understood or learnt. I learnt that it’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s ok to open yourself up and let people in. It’s ok to show who you are and that doing so does not mean that you are weak, inferior or not worth it. In fact, being vulnerable is what lets people share in who you are. It’s what allows you and others to embrace each other and feel connected.

It’s not often that people can say that they love the person that they were once with and it’s less common for someone to say that they love them even more. In my case, I can say that I feel this way. My wife tried so hard to teach me how to be who I want to be in my life and because of my own history with being bullied and feeling inferior, I built a wall that kept her out and many others in my life. I protected myself from pain and hurt and sadness only to experience it in the most confronting way. I have been able to see the impact bullying has had on my life and it has made me incredibly sad but also incredibly fortunate. I have developed the awareness of how to be different within my own life and to show other people how to do the same.

To end off, I will definitely say that, in this crazy life that we live, when you least expect it the universe delivers a blessing into your life. We often take these blessings for granted and it is only after the fact that we learn to appreciate them for the ways in which they contributed to our lives. Please make sure this doesn’t happen to you. Whatever your struggles are or whatever pain you’ve been through, find a way to heal those wounds instead of allowing them to interfere and create even bigger and even more overwhelming challenges to face in your lives.

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Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Love

Life Is Meant to Be Lived

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • March 29, 2014

I decided to have a quiet night in and I put on a copy of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I’ve watched this movie before but something was urging me to watch it again. The first time I saw this movie, it took my breath away and reaffirmed so many of the decisions I was making at the time. Not only that but it helped me see that jumping in the deep end of life is not necessarily a bad thing.

After spending the last 2 hours watching it again, my heart is filled with joy and I am feeling a renewed sense of inspiration as I look forward towards the journey I’ve laid out for myself. Every so often, when we get caught up in the challenges that life throws our way, we forget to step away and look at what we have accomplished and where we’re heading. We overlook what’s right in front of us and get lost in the story that’s playing out in our minds and imagination.

One of the greatest mysteries in life is why we are here and what is our purpose? We spend every waking moment looking for the answers to these two questions. It doesn’t matter whether we’re working in a 9-5 job or aspiring to be world changers – we all ponder over these two questions. Why is it so important to human beings to know the answers to these questions? Is it because we are lost or have no idea what we’re doing or is it because we know deep down inside that we’re meant for bigger and greater things and by seeking out the deeper meanings of our existence, we’re actually fulfilling our potential in this life, one moment at a time?

One of the most fulfilling and the most challenging journey’s I’ve been on was making the decision to go on a quest to uncover and discover who I am and what my destiny in this life might be. I have travelled across the globe, felt the sting of a broken heart, mended it, worked on myself, made new friends and realised that I have something incredible to offer this world. I realised something so valuable while I was on this road, seeking out my inner self. We are all scared to be great. We fear being who we are because the idea of being that person seems impossible and implausible. We fail to recognise that beyond all the crap that we hide behind, is a human being that is unique, special, one of a kind and ready to share something amazing with other people and the only way to truly let that person shine and be seen is to take one step forward.

We can only achieve our greatest desires by taking the risks in life that we’re afraid to take. Life waits for no one. It is there to be lived yet we stand by idly, watching it pass us by. Now is the time to be great. Now is the time to be ourselves. We are destined for this. We are born for this. It’s what our families and the people we love have wanted for us from the moment they caught a glimpse of us. It is a disservice to them and a disservice to us to stand on the sideline of our own lives. It’s time to get in the game, get dirty, play hard and start scoring some goals. That’s living. That’s life.

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Bullying, Inspiration, Labels & Disabilities, Leadership, Self-Love

The Relationship Between Two Opposites

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • March 26, 2014

In nature and in human life a relationship exists between two opposite energies, equal in force, equal in power and equal in measure. In nature, we call these two energies – predator and prey. In human beings we have many labels for this – good and bad, positive and negative, hero and villain or victim and bully.

These relationships are defined by the laws of nature – the very laws that govern the way our planet functions, the way nature governs itself and the way our physiology maintains balance and homeostasis. No matter how much we choose to deny or even defy these relationships, they continue to exist. As human beings, we take it upon ourselves to try and overpower nature and redefine the relationships between these two energies.

In the bullying dynamic, this is something we have been attempting to do for many years, just as we have tried to accomplish this in healthcare, in economics, in business structures, in politics and so many other areas. No matter how much energy and effort we put into trying to change the dynamics of this exchange in nature, they permeate and actually expand. It is no wonder that the bullying dynamic has reached an ‘epidemic’ proportion. It would be wise to explore this relationship further in order to create transformation and forge a new path.

There are two charges that exist in nature and in all living things. We label them as a positive charge and a negative charge. These two charges make up every single atom that you can see, touch, smell, taste and even hear. In human physiology, every single part of who we are is compromised of these two charges and in order for us to maintain balance in our bodies, these charges need to be in harmony with one another. If we look at some of the systems within our bodies, at closer inspection, we can see that even at a systemic level, there is balance. The Chinese have taught this for thousands of years.

On a psychological level, we all have the capacity to do ‘good’ and to do ‘evil’. There is not one person living on this planet who hasn’t done both, in one form or another. We can be selfish and selfless. We can be weak and we can be strong. We experiences peace as much as we experience war and we definitely have moments of support mixed in with moments of challenge. We cannot live without one or the other. In fact, the laws of nature dictate that these opposites come in pairs. They co-exist together, at the same time. They may not be present together in the same space. They can be far apart, like the opposite poles of the earth. This is called non-locality in Quantum Physics. Yet, they are synchronous.

When we look deeper into the bullying dynamic, it is clear to see the two opposites. On one side is the challenger with strength, power, apparent confidence and control. On the other side, is the receiver who, to us, displays weakness, lack of power, lack of confidence and, what appears to be a lack of control. They are total opposites of one other. They co-exist together. It is hard, however, to separate our emotions from the facts and from what we observe. We allow our emotions, which often times stem from our own wounds, to determine the outcome of this pair of opposites. Since our desire for peace outweighs our understanding of war, we seek to stop one side and promote the other. We fail to see that each side has both strength and weakness and that they are both providers of challenge and recipients of challenge. They are one and the same, experiencing their journey through the situations they’ve grown up in, while showing the other how to embrace another way forward.

We elevate the victim and suppress the bully. We favour one over the other. Would you do that with your right lung versus your left lung? Would you favour one side of your brain over the other? Would you shut down one part of your autonomic nervous system in favour of the other? Would you seek only darkness instead of daylight and land instead of water? In your relationships with your family, partners or children, would you want it to be happy all the time or would that get boring? I would imagine, that with all those examples, the answer would be no. Why is that? It’s because we know that in life, those opposites belong together. They require each other in order to fulfill their individual potentials. They can’t exist without supporting and challenging each other.

So too is the case in the relationship between ‘bully’ and ‘victim’. They are part of a tapestry that promotes growth, evolution, individuality, purpose and deeper understanding within human beings. Denying that this balance or relationship is required is like denying half of who you are, and that is impossible. Accepting that life provides challenge, sometimes in the form of a ‘bully’, is a step forward for the evolution of humanity.

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Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Love

Is It Time To Do What You Love?

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • March 26, 2014

How often do you have this question floating around your mind seeking an answer? Is it daily, weekly, every month or every year? Do you sit and ponder this question for a few seconds or are you consumed by it for hours on end?

Do you wake every morning wishing you could be doing something else with your life? Do you go to sleep dreading waking up in the morning because you know you have to go to that job that you don’t really like very much? Do you often see what your friends are doing with their lives and feel like you wish you could be like them and doing the same things? Do you find yourself wishing your life away and fantasising about a life that doesn’t mirror yours?

If you think of these questions and you answered yes to some or most of them, then these are clear indications that it’s time to start doing what you love with your life but how do you start doing that exactly? What do you actually love? What makes your soul come alive? What inspires you or energises you? Those might be some of the next questions that just popped inside your head. I don’t blame you for thinking of them. When your life is showing you that it’s time to change direction and do something else, it can be very easy to get bogged down and feel unsure of what to do next.

The wonderful thing about life is there is no wrong way to do anything because no matter what you do, you’ll gain something out of the actions you took. The problem is, is that we don’t take the first step and try. Fear is one of the biggest obstacles that stops us from even attempting to move in a new direction. We hold ourselves captive to the perception of its powerful grip and don’t do anything as a result.

What are you going to choose differently today and what steps are you going to take so you can start doing what you love with your life? Are you going to write in your journal? Are you going to contact people in your life and start strategising ways you can get going? Are you just going to put a plan together and then take your first step of that plan? Whatever you choose to do will be your first step towards doing what you love with your life. It doesn’t matter what it is. That’s the point. All you need to do is start. Start changing the reality you’re faced with, not by comparing it to others and how you can be like them, but by taking an action that will start to yield some results.

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Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Love

The Time is NOW!

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • January 8, 2014

For so many years, I have been teaching people about taking action and doing what they love with their life but for those same amount of years, I actually haven’t been taking the actions that I truly wanted. I have been holding myself back.

Almost 3 years ago, in June of 2011, I came up with the vision for Be Who You Wanna Be International and it was and still is, the most inspiring vision I’ve ever had in my life. I’m not sure what I was doing when it happened but it just downloaded into my brain and I sat there completely humbled and excited, all at the same time.

Since the conception of that vision, I have built a resource that I am extremely proud of; with interviews, videos, articles, blog posts and more, yet the one thing I haven’t done, as an action, is actually step into my vision and bring the service to who I’m providing it for – the children. So after a bit of a talking to I had with myself, I made a decision that the time is NOW! There is no point waiting any longer to share my message with children.

So, here I am declaring the launch of the next phase of Be Who You Wanna Be International where I get to share my message of helping children to be themselves, think different and do whatever it takes to create the life they love.

I am thrilled to announce that I am releasing a brand new program called, The Bully Breakthrough Game Plan® which is a two level program to assist children to breakthrough bullying, empower themselves and their lives. The first level is called, Beat The Bully®, which is a 2 week intensive process that I take children through to transform bullying in their lives and come out an empowered child. The second level is called, Save The Children®, which is an 8 week process that I take parents through in order to empower them into a stronger position to continue assisting their child to maintain confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and how to navigate through challenges in life more effectively.

This new program is the beginning of so much more to come out of this business and is the lead up to the next phase of our growth, which will be happening in the next few months. That will be the launch of our 8 month program called, The Be Who You Wanna Be Method®, which we will be placing in the school system as a self-empowerment program to help children achieve a creative and collaborative relationship with one another, through the transformation of bullying, rejection, isolation and so much more.

Today is my action day and I urge each and every one of you to step into what you love. It can be easy to get stuck behind the fear of doing what you love as well as holding onto guilt about how that may affect or impact the people around you – especially if you choose to make yourself a priority in your life. The only thing you will do by giving into fear and guilt is become a disservice, not only to yourself, but to the people you would truly love to serve in this world.

If there is one thing I can leave you with, it’s this – if you waste your time doing what doesn’t inspire you, you hold yourself back from doing what does. Honour who you are, respect who you are, trust that you can get there and just go and do it.

If you’d like to find out more about The Breakthrough Bully Game Plan®, contact the office at info@bwywb.com and we will send you more information.

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Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships, Self-Love

It’s About Time To Give This To The Most Important Person In Your Life…

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • December 27, 2013

It’s not often that we truly share how we feel the person that really needs to hear it. This is a video that was put together by SoulPancake where people were asked to write a love letter to themselves.

I’d urge you to spend the time today and do that for yourself.

Sending you lots of love and warm wishes for the new year!

[video_player type=”embed” width=”640″ height=”360″ align=”center” margin_top=”0″ margin_bottom=”20″]PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iNjQwIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjM2MCIgc3JjPSIvL3d3dy55b3V0dWJlLmNvbS9lbWJlZC9valVyczI4TGVHTSIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=[/video_player]

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Inspiration, Leadership

Let Your Star Shine Down On The World

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • November 23, 2013

With all the challenges that human beings face, it can be quite difficult to keep moving forward in the hope that we will achieve something worthwhile in our lifetime. We are constantly bombarded with one obstacle after the other, testing our resilience, determination, commitment and self-belief. Even though each one of these hurdles, that gets put in our path, are designed to push our boundaries, help us grow and fulfil our destiny, they can also impact our confidence and push us beyond our limitations.

After watching the second instalment of The Hunger Games, something shifted inside me, to the very core of who I am. I cannot explain it or even describe it but it felt powerful. When I arrived home, I looked up at the sky and caught a glimpse of my own perfection. It’s incredible how the stars, balls of burning gas out in the galaxy, can give perspective, be so humbling and incredibly eye-opening. Those stars, out there, are mere reflections of the light each and every single one of us shine upon the world every single day of our lives. I felt it, for the first time in my life and it inspired me to share my thoughts with you.

There is nothing in this life that can every truly defeat the spirit of who we are inside. No obstacle, no hurdle and certainly not another person. All of those challenges that are laid before us, which happen to be of our own unconscious intentions, are the building blocks of our lives. We seek to avoid them, try to diminish them, hope to eliminate them, suppress them and pretend they don’t exist. Attempts to do so are futile because, ultimately, the universe seeks to be in balance. Every thing, from the micro to the macro, has its place. Our goal, as individuals and as a collective, is to recognise, become aware of and see the order of our very existence. The sooner we make that choice to understand, realise and know within our hearts that this is the truth of the life we embody, the easier it becomes to embrace everything that we face.

The honour of being able to live, experience every aspect of who we are and share in that with others is the purpose of life. It is the only purpose for which we are destined, beyond our own individual pursuits, visions and missions. I know that I may be delving into the esoteric or being philosophical and metaphysical, however there is no greater gift than that of being tested. It is this that brings us to the heart of who we are, to discover our power and to be able to embrace what we are here for. To be the most authentic version of ourselves possible. Being who we want to be is not just about having the ability to do what we want with life. It’s about being able to share the message that lies deep inside of our hearts.

I urge you. No, I implore you. Please do that and don’t let the hardships of living stop you or break you. Receive those hardships with open arms and allow them to guide you even further towards your truth. You deserve it, the world is yearning for it and it is the one thing that will elevate you beyond your wildest dreams and imagination.

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Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Leadership

Who Are You?

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • November 10, 2013

For a number of months I have been pondering this question, trying to figure out the answer. I have applied myself to several different opportunities or career paths within that time, testing out whether they could work for me. I have even come up with ideas and concepts of avenues I thought I wanted to travel down. All of these attempts at trying to work it all out, left me with the same question and no answer.

Who Are You?

After going through a huge life changing event, this question has been in the forefront of my mind. Everything that I once knew or thought I knew has changed and the very existence of who I am has come into question. What I do know is that the sum all the actions and decisions I’ve made in the past has brought me to the present moment I’m in right now. What I also know is that present moment I am in now is exactly the way it’s supposed to be and, how it used to be or what it was is not the way it’s meant to continue. These concepts and ideas I am totally aware of.

This question is one that plagues most of humanity. It is a question that most of us ask ourselves and have huge difficulty answering. It is the answer we all search for yet it is in our searching for it that we fail to realise we already have the answer to that question. We look for the answer by putting ourselves in different jobs, different relationships, doing courses, reading self-help books and even travelling. We seek the answer for who we are outside of ourselves and, as a consequence, move further away from actually answering the one question that is constantly on our minds.

After doing a 35 minute meditation, it became apparent to me that I’ve been doing this my entire life. I have been looking outside of myself and comparing myself to other people, what they have or don’t have, what they do or don’t do, who they know or don’t know and losing myself in the process. I have known, all along who I am but I have chosen not to acknowledge it, as most of us do, because I perceived I wasn’t good enough or too different being who I am. I have tried to be how I thought others wanted me to be and attempted things that I thought others would approve of. I believed I need to have more of what I saw or perceived in others that I totally disregarded my own uniqueness. This is something most of us, if not all of us, tend to do. We are scared of being who we are, being vulnerable and exposed, worried that we won’t be loved or appreciated. There is nothing further from the truth.

So, I can’t answer the question for you but I can certainly answer the question for myself. Who I am is someone who had the great fortune of not having what everyone else had. Who I am is someone who was and is different to most other people in the way I think and look at life. Who I am is someone who loves understanding how things work. Who I am is someone who cares deeply about others, believes in others and sees the best in who they are. Who I am is like no other person because if it were true, that I was like someone else, what purpose would I have? So who I am, despite having similar experiences to other people, is important, relevant, necessary and valuable. The same goes for you! Remember that always, especially when you start comparing who you are to someone else again. Stay true to you. That is what people love about you. That is why people have invested in you and that is what will assist you to achieve your visions, missions and goals in life.

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Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships

The Pain of Loss and the Change it Brings

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • October 29, 2013

I want to dedicate this post to the people in my life, who have not only shown me what it truly means to be who I am, but who have been and continue to be incredibly special to me and close to my heart. I love you and I am truly grateful for each of you.

Over the last 3 years of my life I have experienced and witnessed loss on a number of different levels and I wanted to take the time to share my insights with you. I can tell you that loss is not fun nor is it something to look forward to. As most of you probably know, it is not something you would necessarily wish upon anybody. Yet, despite its apparent challenges, it somehow brings about a change that was and is necessary.

The only way I can do justice to such a topic is to share a part of my own journey with all of you. In the past 4 months of my life I have experienced varying degrees of loss, in a number of different forms, that left me with an immeasurable amount of pain in those moments. I had no idea how I was going to overcome the challenges I was dealing with and the thought of transcending the pain seemed an impossibility.

One of those was losing a huge part of my identity and, for the last 2 months, I have been desperately trying to hold onto that ‘old version’ of myself. In my attempt to do so, I hit one brick wall after the other which left me wondering that something was trying to possibly send me a very clear message that I didn’t want to see. After running into my final hurdle, it hit me. Stop trying so hard to hold onto who you were and what you did. Stop trying to recreate it or even reinvent it. It’s time to embrace this challenge, let go, give in and see the blessings that are unfolding.

Adding to that loss was another dramatic one. I lost my best friend. Now, this is a road I’ve been down before many times, but this time was different. I know, people say that every time something like this happens. In this case, however, it truly was different. When you ‘lose’ someone you love, it is something that can either tear you apart or help you grow. Not only did it tear me apart, it broke me down to the very core of who I am.

There comes a time in life when you are faced with having to look at who you are and why you’re here. The loss of this friend was the biggest challenge I’ve had to face so far because of everything that encompassed that loss. It did, however, open my eyes to a part of myself that I didn’t even know was there. I saw for the first time, why I got myself to where I am in my life. All I’ve been wanting is to receive validation and attention from others without realising that I’ve never really needed it. All I really needed to do was accept myself, start having fun again in my life and be the very essence of who I am. What a blessing! This only left me loving my best friend even more but in a way that I can’t explain and can’t even put into words. It transcends space, time and all boundaries. It has become ever present.

Yes, loss is hard. Yes, it is painful. Yes, it sucks like hell! Yes, we wish we could change it but if we did change it, how would we grow? How would we evolve and what would we really learn about who we are without it? Is it necessary? Yes it is. Do we like it? Absolutely not but nothing worth having in life comes when things are too easy.

To the people I love and those I am yet to meet and connect with, although your losses may be challenging and believe me, I am with you on that, just know one thing. When you go through a loss in life, no matter what form it manifests for you, you are given an opportunity to open up a space for something new and exciting to enter in. That space, no matter how hard it is to confront or be present with, was and is meant to happen so you can gain what inspires you, who and what truly fulfils you and what allows you to grow to your maximum potential. Embrace this with all your heart because whatever or whoever you lost wouldn’t want it any other way. That I am sure of.

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Bullying, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership

How to Break the Cycle of Suicide in Young People

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • October 24, 2013

A week ago, a friend of mine asked me if I could write a post that addresses the topic of suicide. I realise this is a very sensitive and somewhat heavy topic to tackle but I believe it’s worth discussing.

Some of you might be asking, what credentials do I have to be talking about this issue? Well, I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist and I don’t claim to be, although I do have experience and years of human behaviour education that relates to this topic that I am sure most of you, if not some of you, will connect with.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post that discussed some of my challenges when I was growing up, being bullied, not fitting in and feeling like an outsider. I also touched on my most recent challenges – being separated from an incredible human being that touched my life. These experiences were extremely confronting to deal with at the time and there were moments of absolute despair and hopelessness that I wasn’t able to so easily overlook. In those dark and grim moments my mind, despite all logic and reason, was having suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, I was and am self-aware enough to realise the gravity of such a situation and was able to work my way out of that deep and empty place I was in, using the tools I have at my disposal. The question is, what was it that got me there?

In my case, my intentions to end my life were not as serious or definite like other people who choose to actually follow through with an action but the feelings, thoughts and desires were very real. I would even go as far as to say, it was frightening. So, what leads a person to consider ending their life?

When I look at what I went through, I felt lost, full of despair, trying desperately to change a situation I had no control over and I was holding onto an ‘idea’ or ‘fantasy’ of what I thought I wanted or needed. I wanted to hold onto it so badly, that the thought of living without my life going down a path that I once chose didn’t feel worthwhile. In other words, I was addicted, infatuated and/or living in an illusion of the way I wanted my life to be. It was very unrealistic! Whether that was related to my challenges with bullying or my most recent experiences with my separation.

Being bullied as a kid was an extremely difficult period of my life and I wanted my life to be free of bullying altogether, for people to accept me as I was and to feel like I fit in. That’s what I thought or perceived would be better for me. What I failed to realise was that the universe, g-d, life or my brain didn’t want that for me. I wasn’t born to ‘fit in’ or be ‘normal’. I was born to stand out. I had big ears for a reason but, instead of embracing and appreciating who I was or am, I condemned my uniqueness and hated the world around me for doing exactly what I was doing to myself. The experience felt so hard to deal with, I contemplated suicide many times and planned it once when I was a teenager but never followed through. I have never shared this with anyone before but, in the interest of educating, I am doing it today.

I understand why a person would go to those lengths to end their life. When life is throwing you one challenge after another and all it seems you’re dealing with is a massive nightmare you can’t wake up from; the brain, with it’s limited understanding of the situation, will only see one way out. Human beings get addicted, infatuated and deluded quite easily. We all have some form of addiction or infatuation to something or someone in our lives. To deny that, would be foolish.

Our neocortex has a very limited view of a situation we’re faced with, considering it only processes about 1,400 bits of information per second. The subconscious mind, in comparison, sees the bigger picture. It’s process somewhere around 200 million bits of information per second. What we’re unable to see, using our logical mind, is the opportunity or blessing in these ‘perceived’ nightmares. All we see is the darkness, the emptiness, the loneliness and the fantasy, addiction or illusion not manifesting the way we wish, hope for or dream about.

Suicide for most people, which includes young people, is an attempt or action to escape a ‘perceived’ extreme nightmare in their lives. It’s a way for them to eliminate the pain of challenge, rejection, persecution or prejudice for something that is perceived to feel painless, supportive, accepting, joyful and approving. The problem is, we don’t live in a world of one-sidedness. We live in a world of duality, where there exists a balance of opposites. One of the greatest obstacles we face in being able to recognise this duality and this synchronicity of opposites, that exists simultaneously, is a lack of education. We are mostly taught what is good and what is bad. We are taught, in large part, to separate and divide what is universally impossible to separate. We see a situation of bullying, like I experienced, as a negative thing without it being equally as positive – at the exact same time. Some would even consider my situation of separation or divorce as a black mark against my name. I could have done that too but with every crisis, I know, lies a beautiful blessing.

For those that choose to end their lives, they are unable to see the blessings within their crises. All they see is a situation with no way out and suicide is the best way to fulfil the fantasy and escape the nightmare.

To break the cycle of suicide in young people and even adults too, it is necessary to educate people about real life, not the projected version of it. In real life, according to the laws of nature, challenges aren’t only bad. They’re good too but you’ve got to look for the richness within them otherwise you’ll get trapped in a nightmare that you’re creating. On the other end of the spectrum, receiving support isn’t only good either. There are many downsides to wanting too much support, attention, recognition and appreciation. The list could go on. You may just land up getting stuck in your own fantasy or infatuated idea of life. The wisest way to approach life is to look at it with the view that nothing is good or bad, positive or negative, right or wrong. What we experience are lessons that are delivered to us, in such a way, to help us grow, evolve and fulfil what’s most inspiring and meaningful to us.

The action of suicide will never be eliminated but it can be transformed. We can suicide our fantasies, infatuations and illusions instead of ourselves by beginning to understand and learn the balance that exists within our own lives, in nature and within the universe.

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