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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Love

How losing $20,000 changed my life

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • June 10, 2016

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something on the blog so I thought I’d take a moment and share an experience with you that I went through recently, that might provide some value, insight and perspective.

Over the past 6 months, I have gone through one of my greatest challenges to date. I honestly thought that going through a divorce was tough but this one really takes the cake. In December, I decided that I wanted to scale my business and take it to the next level financially. My reason for doing so was simple. My fiancé and I had recently bought a property and I knew that I needed to build up my business and therefore my income, so we could manage everything moving forward.

I chose to invest in a company to help me position myself in the market and generate more leads. I signed on with them and spent about 4 months working with the team to get everything put together. This included me writing a book and the team building a website and a landing page and getting a marketing funnel and system all worked out. This process was one of the most stressful experience I’ve ever been through.

Eventually launch day arrived and everything was looking good. I had over 100 requests for my book and about 12 people booked themselves in for complimentary strategy sessions. I was feeling optimistic. It seemed like my hard work and their hard work, together with all money I invested, was about to pay off. I was soon to find out that, that wasn’t the case. A few weeks passed and after speaking to a number of different clients and having zero conversion, I started to get nervous. I was still spending lots of money but my return was zero. I wasn’t sure what to do.

I woke up one morning, started getting ready for work and one of the clients who’d booked herself in for a complimentary session cancelled. A switch inside of me flipped and I got super angry. I wasn’t angry at her. I was angry because this decision I’d made wasn’t moving me in the direction I wanted to go. In fact, it was costing me more and more money. I was giving so much value away. I decided I needed to cut the team loose and for us to move in separate directions. I needed to preserve myself.

On the way back from work that day, it hit me. Clarity! This was the type of clarity I had never experienced before. All of a sudden, after a whole day of working with clients and a few hours of introspection, the vision just dropped in my head. In one moment of inspiration, my target market, my ideal client, my message, my service and my vision appeared right in my mind with such crystal clarity that all I could see was the path. For the first time in my life, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

The gains didn’t stop there. Although I initially perceived that I had lost all this money I’d invested, I started to see what that investment really paid for. I became aware of an unconscious pattern of mine that had been driving me to create success in my business and and financial life that I was completely unaware of. When I saw it, everything made sense – all the failures, road blocks, dead ends and the lack of growth of my business. Imagine having 100’s of light bulb moments all at the same time. That’s what I was experiencing.

My ego, for the most part, had been governing every action and intention I’d set and this one action of investing so much money into scaling my business and it not working out as expected was the most humbling experience I’ve ever gone through. Let me explain some more.

When I was younger I was bullied. To add more challenge into the pot, I went to a private Jewish day school from Year 2 onwards. My family came from a different financial background than the kids at school so I couldn’t even really compete or be on the same level as them. I created a belief in my mind that the only way to be appreciated, respected, valued and loved for who I am was to make lots of money and become popular (influential and successful). When I discovered this pattern, I was angry and not happy with myself. What I hadn’t quite realised was that the void I had been trying to fill for all these years, was already full. I didn’t need to be successful, wealthy or popular for people to love me because my friends, family and clients were all showing me how valuable I was and I didn’t need any of those things. In fact, they all loved me and appreciated me for just being myself. What a crazy idea, right?

It is sometimes hard to be grateful for taking these kinds of steps and discovering that they didn’t unfold as planned but I can tell you today, that I wouldn’t change it for anything. I now feel so connected to my purpose and I know that I am loved whether I succeed in business and become wealthy or I don’t. My job now is to share my message and vision so people can benefit from what I’ve learnt and become powerful leaders and inspired visionaries, mastering their destiny instead of playing victim to their history. Life is all about lessons and the lessons appear when they’re supposed to. With all the developments that are coming in the next year, now was the best time for this to happen. If it had happened earlier in my life, I know I wouldn’t have been mentally and emotionally prepared for what would lie ahead and I certainly am grateful it hasn’t happened later after getting married and starting a family.

As I always teach my clients, pain is the messenger. It’s important to pay attention and listen to the feedback it provides. When we ignore pain, we just create more of it until we reach a point when we can’t keep hiding from it anymore. If you’re going through something similar, embrace the challenge you’re going through and ask yourself how this experience is benefiting you and helping you grow and be on purpose in your life. You may uncover your soul’s purpose and wouldn’t that be an awesome thing to find?

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Bullying, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Love

Jess Ainscough – My Insights and My Response

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • March 2, 2015

jess-ainscough-full
There is a lot of controversy surrounding the death of Jess Ainscough, affectionately known as The Wellness Warrior. People are questioning whether natural alternatives are still worth exploring. Over the last 48 hours, I have been in the crosshairs of several people on social media, who are sharing their opinions and beliefs about an article I wrote 3.5 years ago for Jess’ blog. I felt it would be important to set the record straight about alternative medicine and share my insights and experience relating to health and disease, which I have gained over 14 years of learning about, working with and researching the human mind and body.

I have been surrounded by traditional medical doctors my entire life. My grandfather and three uncles are all medical practitioners. I have been exposed to that model since I was a child. My choice to go towards the natural approach to health and disease was purely as a result of learning and discovering that the human body is far more capable of working for us, instead of against us, than we realise. That intrigued and fascinated me, which is why the holistic approach was very appealing. As a result, I’ve spent the last 14 years learning everything I can about the body and the mind. There tends to be a lot of speculation about what other health practitioners and myself know or don’t know so I’d like to give you a better idea of the education we have. Bare in mind, I can only speak on behalf of myself as chiropractor. As a chiropractor, I have trained for 6 years in a bachelors and masters degree, both of which are heavily grounded in science. I have studied anatomy, physiology, neurology, biochemistry, neurophysiology, embryology, pharmacology and a range of chiropractic-specific subjects. Since leaving university, I joined a multi-modal practice and broadened my knowledge with nutrition, basic homeopathy, basic Acupuncture, kinesiology and human behavioural studies. My studies have continued since then and I am constantly learning about the safest and most natural ways in which I can help people heal and fulfil their potential.

Over the years, I’ve seen natural therapies be effective towards helping people heal and live a fuller life as well as be ineffective in helping people achieve the results they want. I have also seen the exact same pattern occurring in the traditional medical model. I have worked together with medical professionals to help people get well and I have also seen people full of despair with the medical model because it hasn’t worked for them. I have helped, been exposed to and worked with people who have had various health challenges which include musculoskeletal issues, Type-O (organ related) challenges, cancer, allergies and mental health problems, to name a few. I have also been rejected by people in favour of medicine, both in my professional and personal life.

What I’ve learnt from all of my experience is something very simple. People are going to make their own choices about their body and their life, whether we like it or not. All we are as health professionals, are guides. We are not gods. Some of what we do is brilliant and can help huge amounts of people and some of what we do doesn’t work at all. There is no such thing as a one size fits all approach and it would be arrogant for any one of us to believe or think that our way is the only way or the best way. We can all throw research at each other about what works and what the best approach is but who is that really serving? All that does is create less collaboration and more division when it comes to helping someone who is dealing with something they don’t understand. Bridging that gap is an essential part of the healing process for anyone who is in crisis. At the end of the day, we all made a choice to serve human beings through the healing arts, whichever type that may be. Those people are our top priority, as practitioners and their ability to choose what resonates with them is theirs. Just because the research says what it says, does not make it the best option and that goes for both traditional and natural medicine. There is ample research in both fields.

It is easy to fear what we don’t understand and I see this fear permeating through our culture whenever it comes to health and wellness. Fear is not the wisest approach when it comes to serving someone and helping them heal their body or mind. How about we teach people what’s actually going on with their body or their mind and empower them to change their approach to themselves and their external reality? I believe that may solve more problems than it creates.

As for Jess, she chose a path for her that she believed and felt was in her best interest. She went against the advice, criticism and judgement of others because she chose to listen to herself. Too often, we pay attention to the various authorities in our lives and forget to see that we have the power to change our situation. We can be our own authority too. No doctor or health practitioner knows us better than we know ourselves. They have knowledge and experience and that could be of great use but they don’t know us because they aren’t us and it’s egotistic to assume that we know better than she did.

What some people are also failing to see, with regards to Jess’ situation, was the amount of challenge she’s faced, within the last year, with the loss of her mom. We know that the stress of losing someone we love can have a huge impact on how the body functions and heals. The more challenge we perceive we have to deal with, the more our fight/flight/freeze response will activate in the body to manage that. Depending on how we perceive the challenge will very much depend on how the body reacts. If we can’t manage the challenge smoothly, the adrenal glands start to dump huge amounts of adrenalin and cortisol into the blood to try help the body cope. All the excess has to be broken down and the by-product of that is usually acidic in nature. Anaerobic cells, which are cells that survive off waste material instead of oxygen, thrive in an acidic environment. Cancerous cells, due to their lack of oxygen supply, thrive in similar environments in the body where there tends to be a lack or decrease in oxygen supply. I won’t bore you with all the complicated science behind how cancerous cells work but it is safe to say that stress has a huge impact on how cancerous cells can develop and grow. This is what Jess may have been dealing with in this last year and her body, despite all the excellent work she was doing, couldn’t cope.

It’s only natural for human beings to judge each other but it’s important to know the full story before we leap to conclusions. Not only that, there is so much more than we know about how the body works and why we land up in extremely challenging situations. Be mindful of other people’s choices. We are not here to dictate what is wrong or right because, what may be right for some could be wrong for others and vice versa. All we can do is what’s in the best interest of the people we serve and that is their choice and their decision.

To the naysayers out there, thank you for inspiring me to write this blog post and to do my part to educate the general public instead of instilling fear in them. Natural therapies serve as much as they don’t and the same goes for medical ones too. Your challenge, criticism and judgement of who I am, what I do and what Jess did for herself will only provide the space for people to see the bigger picture when it comes to understanding who they are and how their bodies and minds work.

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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships, Self-Love

How 2014 has helped me learn how to be more vulnerable

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • December 18, 2014

16 months ago, I arrived back in Australia from living in Canada for one year and separating from the person I thought I would be spending my life with. I was broken, depressed and totally unsure how my life would turn around after what I’d been through. It was unexpected and not something I would have consciously chosen at the time.

Now, as 2014 is coming to a close and as I reflect back, I can definitely say that these last 16 months have been some of the most profound, nurturing, empowering and self-fulfilling in my life. For those of you who have experienced a separation, divorce or break-up that impacted almost every area of your life, this post is for you.

You would think that after what I went through, my desire to open myself up and connect with people would be something I’d prefer to steer away from. That may be true for a lot of other people but I made a decision that I wasn’t going to allow my past to dictate my future. I have worked hard at it this year and even though bits and pieces sneak in when I least expect them to, for the most part, my past is where I’ve left it – behind me.

With all the lessons I have learnt over this past year, there is one that stands out and continues to teach me more as I move forward into 2015. One of the challenges I’ve faced in my life, as a result of being bullied a lot growing up, left me feeling like I needed to protect myself and guard myself from pain, hurt and discomfort. As a result, I pushed people away and also tried so hard to change others in the hope that I could avoid feeling any of the confronting situations I might find myself in. The universe or nature has a way of making sure everything is balanced and my life was no exception. I was scared to drop my guard and be vulnerable and allow myself to experience hurt. Unfortunately and fortunately, I experienced everything I was desperately seeking to run from.

The pain of doing whatever I could, to run from what I perceived could hurt me was enough for me to say to myself – “It’s enough Greg! You need to make some changes.” And that’s exactly what I did and am continuing to do. The more I opened up and allowed myself to be more vulnerable, the bigger the opportunities that started coming into my life. I met someone who I love, who constantly and continuously encourages me, challenges me and inspires me to grow into more of who I am. I stepped out of hiding within my own business to give people a chance to connect with me, work with me and see what I can do to be of service to them. I even took a giant leap in my career towards to securing my financial future as well as the future of my vision and mission within my business and I started the journey of speaking and teaching which is something I love doing more than anything.

I am still a work in progress and there is still more soul searching to do but I am grateful for what I’ve done this year and where I am today. Last year, the idea of this all happening for me was a foreign concept but I couldn’t let all of that stop me from what I know I’m meant to do with my life and that’s to help people transform their challenges into opportunities, open their hearts and minds, empower themselves to be bigger and greater than they ever thought possible and to be inspired from within to go and share their magnificence with as many people as possible.

I’ve learnt that being vulnerable doesn’t mean I’m weak or that I’m necessarily going to be hurt by other people. That’s what I used to think. What I now know is that being vulnerable takes courage and strength because it means I’m putting myself out there, letting people in and even inviting challenge, pain and conflict to be a part of how I live my life.

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[blockquote animation=”fadeInUp”]What does being vulnerable mean to you and why might you be stopping yourself from allowing yourself to play there?[/blockquote]
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Post your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership, Self-Love

How The Be Who You Wanna Be Youth Summit Changed My Life

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • July 21, 2014

About 4.5 weeks ago, I hosted an online youth summit, featuring 25 speakers from different parts of the world. I had the idea for this event in 2012, when I was living in Canada. Originally, I wanted to put on a live event and stream it across the globe but due to the expense of such a production, I delayed it.

In March of 2014, I collaborated with Suli Breaks and 2 other speakers in a live event in Sydney, Australia. For the first time in over 14 years, I had the opportunity again to perform on stage – this time a little differently to when I was younger. I can’t even describe to you how fulfilling it felt to be doing something that I love so much. The next day, I decided I wanted to finally put on this summit but instead of doing it live, I chose to deliver it online.

The pre-launch period began at the end of April, for people to start signing up. It was moving quite well and considering it was my first event, the turn out was actually looking quite promising. After 6 weeks of registrations, the summit officially began and it was in that first week and through the experience of various other moments after that, that my life took a dramatic and unexpected turn.

Not for a moment, did I think that the youth summit would prepare me for the incredible journey I’ve now embarked on. In fact, I had very different expectations for where I thought it would take me or how it would impact my life. None of my initial expectations were met but what I did uncover was far greater than I could have ever imagined.

For most my life, or at least 25 years of my life, I have been hiding who I am, in varying degrees, from the world around me. I have been trying to be someone that I’m not and trying desperately to live a life that is centred more around what I perceived I should have or be instead of what was and has been right in front me. For those of you who know me, I was bullied quite significantly when I was growing up. Those challenges definitely impacted the way in which I managed and dealt with my life, from how to manage money, my social interactions, relationships with women and even my health.

After spending 2.5 weeks facilitating and hosting this summit, I realised all of this to be true. I couldn’t deny it any longer. I wasn’t being myself. I was hiding behind all the speakers, my branding, my logo and everything that I had created. Although the message has always been my own, I wasn’t taking ownership of it. I was denying my self and potentially, my ability to actually thrive in several areas of my life. So, I made a decision which has challenged me to the core of who I am. In all honesty, I was left with an internal conflict and wasn’t quite sure how I was going to resolve it. Thankfully, after a discussion with a wise friend of mine, I chose to follow through with my decision. The website that you’re on, right now, is as a result of that decision.

I sit here, before you the person reading this, sharing who I am with you. Everything you see on this website is a reflection me. I have come to understand that my vulnerability is far more powerful than I would have ever thought it to be and hiding that part of myself away has only attracted one challenge after the other until I learnt to let go and open up myself and my heart to others. It is an opening for those of you who would love to connect and one where I can be of greater service to those that need what I am able and would love to offer.

Since I made that decision to expose myself and launch this website, my life has changed and it was all thanks to the youth summit. I have chosen to re-integrate chiropractic into how I provide my services. I went back to my roots. The kinesiology technique that I developed just over 3 years ago, is now available as a healing tool. I have met and connected with several people who I will be collaborating with on several projects, in the next 6-12 months and I’m incredibly grateful to have met someone new and very special to me who, with her deep appreciation of me, is showing and reflecting who I have become, how I’ve grown and who I am growing into. All these blessings bring tears to my eyes and are clear indications that when you choose to go after what inspires you, what energises you and what fulfils you, you can master your own life. One year ago, I don’t think I ever would have thought my life would take the turn that it has but I will say this – I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Not only has this summit made room for new and exciting adventures in my life but I now have a very clear path towards creating the Be Who You Wanna Be Institute™. My end goal is help the kids out there be everything that they can be in life and embrace one another for who the they are. I am starting from the ground and building my way there, sharing my message, my story and everything I can that will give future generations of children a chance to live empowered and fulfilling lives, collaborating and working together to create change for human beings on the planet.

Finally, if there’s one lesson you can take from this post, it’s this – be who you are, embrace your differences, think in a way that challenges the status quo and do whatever it takes to live a life that inspires you and fulfils you with a purpose that burns deep within your heart. When you take that action step and make the choice to do so, the universe or whatever it is you call it, will deliver and it will blow your mind.

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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships, Self-Love

How Being Bullied As a Child Shaped My Life

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • May 27, 2014

In the last few weeks, I’ve been faced with a number of different challenges. Some of those have been related to my business, others have been related to my financial affairs and the remainder of them linked to my social health. Through every single one of these challenges, I was able to identify a number of different patterns of behaviour that have been running my life since I was a very young child.

Recently, I read an article online about the lasting impacts that bullying can have on your life, not just as a young person but as an adult too. At the time I read this article, I was aware of certain effects bullying has had on my life but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I truly became aware of the challenges that I’ve had to endure as a consequence.

Before I continue, allow me add one thing. In no way, shape or form am I about to blame or have I blamed being bullied for how my life has unfolded. Nor will I blame anyone else for how I am today. This post is purely for the purposes of bringing awareness to what changes can be made and how the challenges that we face, as a result of childhood bullying, can be transformed into challenges that significantly push us to be more of who we are so that we are able to do what we love.

When I was younger, I physically stood out. I had big ears that could be seen from a mile away. I have mentioned this before. As a result of this, I was over-protected and, at the same time, put on a pedestal. Two actions that, although done with absolute love and good intention, impacted the way in which I have grown and evolved as a human being. My growth and my lessons, I can now be grateful for because I have seen the value and benefit of it all – although, it has taken me close to 28 years to get to this point. To me, that’s an unnecessary amount of time to be disconnected from who I am but I am thankful for this because of the lessons I have learnt, that I would love to share with you and many others like me.

Just yesterday, while doing some breakthrough work on an old pattern, I uncovered a significant truth about my life that I know has been holding me back for a very long time. I chose this path in my life because I was taught, at a very early age, that it would serve me. I’ve come to learn that, although it has served me by teaching me something very valuable that I get to explore with others, it stunted my growth, altered my perceptions of reality and my unconscious actions. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have changed this path in my life. It was neurologically hardwired and I had no awareness of how to re-pattern my brain and create new actions or intentions for myself.

You might be wondering what I learnt? When I was younger my over-protector was a female. It doesn’t matter who it was but the gender is important. As a result of getting continuous support from a female in my life, I attached the idea of safety, security, comfort and fulfilment to that gender. Since my ‘bully’ was always a male or male dominant female, I attached the idea of risk, danger, discomfort and lack of fulfilment to that gender. When I grew up, I had my ears pinned back and for the first time, in my perception, I was noticed by girls in my social circle. Naturally, because I associated more pleasure than pain with females, I gravitated towards them and isolated myself from males. At 17 years old, I started working and that time I had a girlfriend. Prior to getting all this attention from females, it seemed like I was never on their radar so when they finally gave me attention, coupled with earning money, I did whatever I could to keep that attention. Why? They made me feel safe, secure, comforted and fulfilled. All of which I was unable to provide for myself and wasn’t encouraged to do by that particular gender.

Fast forward to the present day. I am currently divorced and have been, for a number of years, experiencing challenges in my business and my financial area of life. Not only that, but getting close to a male for support, security, comfort and fulfilment has not been an option. The reason for this? A pattern that I had no idea was on autopilot in my neurology and had been that way for a very long time. The universe did whatever it could in the last 10 months to make sure I didn’t continue on the same path that I’ve been on for the least 28 years of my life. My best friend, who also happened to be my ex-wife, helped me, with her divine wisdom, start to realise that. She did so by separating from me and doing what she could to break my unconscious need to keep that pattern alive. She may not be aware that she played that role but I recruited her to do so, unaware until now.

I choose to share all of this with you for a very specific reason. It is a reason that has been the essence of why I started my company and why I am dedicated to empowering youth around the world to be who they are and do what they love with their lives. It is my purpose. The reason I was bullied was not because there was anything wrong with me, nor was it because I had big ears. I was bullied because the balance of support and challenge from the one person who needed to provide it for me at the time, wasn’t present. It was definitely there, as it always is, but not within the one person who could have altered my fate and sent me down a different path.

I am not a parent or a guardian of a child so I don’t claim to be an expert but if there is one thing that I have learnt in my life it’s that we require a balance of support and challenge in equal measure, for us to grow. We always receive it, without fail, but if the people that guide us as we grow aren’t balanced or centred within themselves and are operating on old patterns of fear and judgement, they tend to make choices that revolve around them wanting to save us from their own pains and challenges. Little do they realise that by doing this, not only do they bring more of that pain into their own lives but they land up imprinting that onto us as we’re developing. It is evident with many of the anti-bullying strategies that exist today. It’s all about ending the pain instead of understanding it. All that it’s done has created more bullying for us to deal with, until we can truly appreciate the lessons and blessings that underpin it.

Bullying can be transformed. It can never be eliminated because we need challenge to push us in life. The form in which we receive it may change but it’s what creates growth, not only in us but in nature and the universe as well. As a child, being over-protected instead of receiving both support and challenge equally from that one person, left me with a one sided reality about how to live my life and it took me a lot longer than necessary to uncover my true worth and value. Like I said, I am grateful it happened the way it did because it has given me a purpose on this planet and a mission to create change. I can see that it was necessary for me, so I could deliver this message, but it can change for everyone else and it’s time we applied a different approach to this dynamic. It’s not evil. It’s not something we need to destroy or eliminate. It’s something that requires understanding and a new set of actions to transform it into something that is both productive and constructive.

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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships, Self-Love

Vulnerability Is The Key To Life

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • May 10, 2014

Some of you may know, who have been following my blog posts over the last year, of the challenges that I’ve faced within my personal life and career. I can say that these last 10 months have been some of the most emotionally taxing, mentally draining and equally as uplifting and fulfilling that I have ever experienced.

For those of you who don’t know, about 10 months ago my wife and I decided to separate and I had to leave her and face a life changing direction in a way that I had never expected or even anticipated. The whole experience literally turned my world upside down and I was faced with a reality that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to make it through. I left Canada, where I was living at the time, and returned back to Australia to be close to my family and to heal.

I went through so many emotions, I can’t even begin to count – from sadness to loneliness to grief to anger to frustration – the list could go on. I was an absolute mess and totally lost. Never in my wildest dreams did I foresee what I was faced with. There were moments when my emotions were so overwhelming, that I didn’t know whether it was worth being where I was. In my mind, it wasn’t what I had planned and I couldn’t accept what had happened.

Thankfully, I was able to hold it together and I started the slow and often confronting journey of healing this very raw and open wound. I spent most of my time isolated from the world, working on myself, speaking to very close friends who were there to guide and support me through the process. I put myself into my career and the work that inspired me. I did what I could to push myself through, while doing all the personal development work to get me to the other side.

I had relapses along the way and fell into moments of depression and deep sadness and then about 4 months ago, in February of 2014, I hit a brick wall that I hadn’t seen before. And believe me when I tell you, I had hit many of them in the last 10 months. I remember walking into my parents room at the time and just feeling totally lost. I had no idea who I was anymore, what I was supposed to be doing with my life or where I was meant to be. I seriously felt like giving up and then, by chance, the universe delivered someone into my life who brought me back from the abyss I found myself in. For the first time in a very long time, I hired a coach to help me out.

We spent 6 weeks working through my stuff and it was in those six weeks that I found who I am. I remembered who that guy is. I discovered my purpose, tapped back into my mission and I found the love I’d lost hidden in my heart the whole time. After 9 challenging months being separated from the one person that has meant so much to me in this world, I found her again in my heart and literally, 5 minutes after I had that experience, she contacted me.

This post is dedicated to her and to those of you out there who choose to stay hidden and don’t allow your true self to shine through. Since that breakthrough and the start of what I look forward to being the career I’ve been dreaming about, my heart has opened like never before. I have felt connected to others, embraced others and chosen to go down a path of really giving so much of who I am to so many people out there who really need it.

I’m not sure if any of you have ever truly felt the loss of someone who means so much to you but if you have, you will all know how painful that can be. The loss of my wife was excruciating but it taught me something that, through our marriage and the many years of my life before that, I hadn’t yet understood or learnt. I learnt that it’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s ok to open yourself up and let people in. It’s ok to show who you are and that doing so does not mean that you are weak, inferior or not worth it. In fact, being vulnerable is what lets people share in who you are. It’s what allows you and others to embrace each other and feel connected.

It’s not often that people can say that they love the person that they were once with and it’s less common for someone to say that they love them even more. In my case, I can say that I feel this way. My wife tried so hard to teach me how to be who I want to be in my life and because of my own history with being bullied and feeling inferior, I built a wall that kept her out and many others in my life. I protected myself from pain and hurt and sadness only to experience it in the most confronting way. I have been able to see the impact bullying has had on my life and it has made me incredibly sad but also incredibly fortunate. I have developed the awareness of how to be different within my own life and to show other people how to do the same.

To end off, I will definitely say that, in this crazy life that we live, when you least expect it the universe delivers a blessing into your life. We often take these blessings for granted and it is only after the fact that we learn to appreciate them for the ways in which they contributed to our lives. Please make sure this doesn’t happen to you. Whatever your struggles are or whatever pain you’ve been through, find a way to heal those wounds instead of allowing them to interfere and create even bigger and even more overwhelming challenges to face in your lives.

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Bullying, Inspiration, Labels & Disabilities, Leadership, Self-Love

The Relationship Between Two Opposites

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • March 26, 2014

In nature and in human life a relationship exists between two opposite energies, equal in force, equal in power and equal in measure. In nature, we call these two energies – predator and prey. In human beings we have many labels for this – good and bad, positive and negative, hero and villain or victim and bully.

These relationships are defined by the laws of nature – the very laws that govern the way our planet functions, the way nature governs itself and the way our physiology maintains balance and homeostasis. No matter how much we choose to deny or even defy these relationships, they continue to exist. As human beings, we take it upon ourselves to try and overpower nature and redefine the relationships between these two energies.

In the bullying dynamic, this is something we have been attempting to do for many years, just as we have tried to accomplish this in healthcare, in economics, in business structures, in politics and so many other areas. No matter how much energy and effort we put into trying to change the dynamics of this exchange in nature, they permeate and actually expand. It is no wonder that the bullying dynamic has reached an ‘epidemic’ proportion. It would be wise to explore this relationship further in order to create transformation and forge a new path.

There are two charges that exist in nature and in all living things. We label them as a positive charge and a negative charge. These two charges make up every single atom that you can see, touch, smell, taste and even hear. In human physiology, every single part of who we are is compromised of these two charges and in order for us to maintain balance in our bodies, these charges need to be in harmony with one another. If we look at some of the systems within our bodies, at closer inspection, we can see that even at a systemic level, there is balance. The Chinese have taught this for thousands of years.

On a psychological level, we all have the capacity to do ‘good’ and to do ‘evil’. There is not one person living on this planet who hasn’t done both, in one form or another. We can be selfish and selfless. We can be weak and we can be strong. We experiences peace as much as we experience war and we definitely have moments of support mixed in with moments of challenge. We cannot live without one or the other. In fact, the laws of nature dictate that these opposites come in pairs. They co-exist together, at the same time. They may not be present together in the same space. They can be far apart, like the opposite poles of the earth. This is called non-locality in Quantum Physics. Yet, they are synchronous.

When we look deeper into the bullying dynamic, it is clear to see the two opposites. On one side is the challenger with strength, power, apparent confidence and control. On the other side, is the receiver who, to us, displays weakness, lack of power, lack of confidence and, what appears to be a lack of control. They are total opposites of one other. They co-exist together. It is hard, however, to separate our emotions from the facts and from what we observe. We allow our emotions, which often times stem from our own wounds, to determine the outcome of this pair of opposites. Since our desire for peace outweighs our understanding of war, we seek to stop one side and promote the other. We fail to see that each side has both strength and weakness and that they are both providers of challenge and recipients of challenge. They are one and the same, experiencing their journey through the situations they’ve grown up in, while showing the other how to embrace another way forward.

We elevate the victim and suppress the bully. We favour one over the other. Would you do that with your right lung versus your left lung? Would you favour one side of your brain over the other? Would you shut down one part of your autonomic nervous system in favour of the other? Would you seek only darkness instead of daylight and land instead of water? In your relationships with your family, partners or children, would you want it to be happy all the time or would that get boring? I would imagine, that with all those examples, the answer would be no. Why is that? It’s because we know that in life, those opposites belong together. They require each other in order to fulfill their individual potentials. They can’t exist without supporting and challenging each other.

So too is the case in the relationship between ‘bully’ and ‘victim’. They are part of a tapestry that promotes growth, evolution, individuality, purpose and deeper understanding within human beings. Denying that this balance or relationship is required is like denying half of who you are, and that is impossible. Accepting that life provides challenge, sometimes in the form of a ‘bully’, is a step forward for the evolution of humanity.

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Bullying, Health & Wellness, Inspiration, Leadership

How to Break the Cycle of Suicide in Young People

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • October 24, 2013

A week ago, a friend of mine asked me if I could write a post that addresses the topic of suicide. I realise this is a very sensitive and somewhat heavy topic to tackle but I believe it’s worth discussing.

Some of you might be asking, what credentials do I have to be talking about this issue? Well, I’m no psychologist or psychiatrist and I don’t claim to be, although I do have experience and years of human behaviour education that relates to this topic that I am sure most of you, if not some of you, will connect with.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post that discussed some of my challenges when I was growing up, being bullied, not fitting in and feeling like an outsider. I also touched on my most recent challenges – being separated from an incredible human being that touched my life. These experiences were extremely confronting to deal with at the time and there were moments of absolute despair and hopelessness that I wasn’t able to so easily overlook. In those dark and grim moments my mind, despite all logic and reason, was having suicidal thoughts. Thankfully, I was and am self-aware enough to realise the gravity of such a situation and was able to work my way out of that deep and empty place I was in, using the tools I have at my disposal. The question is, what was it that got me there?

In my case, my intentions to end my life were not as serious or definite like other people who choose to actually follow through with an action but the feelings, thoughts and desires were very real. I would even go as far as to say, it was frightening. So, what leads a person to consider ending their life?

When I look at what I went through, I felt lost, full of despair, trying desperately to change a situation I had no control over and I was holding onto an ‘idea’ or ‘fantasy’ of what I thought I wanted or needed. I wanted to hold onto it so badly, that the thought of living without my life going down a path that I once chose didn’t feel worthwhile. In other words, I was addicted, infatuated and/or living in an illusion of the way I wanted my life to be. It was very unrealistic! Whether that was related to my challenges with bullying or my most recent experiences with my separation.

Being bullied as a kid was an extremely difficult period of my life and I wanted my life to be free of bullying altogether, for people to accept me as I was and to feel like I fit in. That’s what I thought or perceived would be better for me. What I failed to realise was that the universe, g-d, life or my brain didn’t want that for me. I wasn’t born to ‘fit in’ or be ‘normal’. I was born to stand out. I had big ears for a reason but, instead of embracing and appreciating who I was or am, I condemned my uniqueness and hated the world around me for doing exactly what I was doing to myself. The experience felt so hard to deal with, I contemplated suicide many times and planned it once when I was a teenager but never followed through. I have never shared this with anyone before but, in the interest of educating, I am doing it today.

I understand why a person would go to those lengths to end their life. When life is throwing you one challenge after another and all it seems you’re dealing with is a massive nightmare you can’t wake up from; the brain, with it’s limited understanding of the situation, will only see one way out. Human beings get addicted, infatuated and deluded quite easily. We all have some form of addiction or infatuation to something or someone in our lives. To deny that, would be foolish.

Our neocortex has a very limited view of a situation we’re faced with, considering it only processes about 1,400 bits of information per second. The subconscious mind, in comparison, sees the bigger picture. It’s process somewhere around 200 million bits of information per second. What we’re unable to see, using our logical mind, is the opportunity or blessing in these ‘perceived’ nightmares. All we see is the darkness, the emptiness, the loneliness and the fantasy, addiction or illusion not manifesting the way we wish, hope for or dream about.

Suicide for most people, which includes young people, is an attempt or action to escape a ‘perceived’ extreme nightmare in their lives. It’s a way for them to eliminate the pain of challenge, rejection, persecution or prejudice for something that is perceived to feel painless, supportive, accepting, joyful and approving. The problem is, we don’t live in a world of one-sidedness. We live in a world of duality, where there exists a balance of opposites. One of the greatest obstacles we face in being able to recognise this duality and this synchronicity of opposites, that exists simultaneously, is a lack of education. We are mostly taught what is good and what is bad. We are taught, in large part, to separate and divide what is universally impossible to separate. We see a situation of bullying, like I experienced, as a negative thing without it being equally as positive – at the exact same time. Some would even consider my situation of separation or divorce as a black mark against my name. I could have done that too but with every crisis, I know, lies a beautiful blessing.

For those that choose to end their lives, they are unable to see the blessings within their crises. All they see is a situation with no way out and suicide is the best way to fulfil the fantasy and escape the nightmare.

To break the cycle of suicide in young people and even adults too, it is necessary to educate people about real life, not the projected version of it. In real life, according to the laws of nature, challenges aren’t only bad. They’re good too but you’ve got to look for the richness within them otherwise you’ll get trapped in a nightmare that you’re creating. On the other end of the spectrum, receiving support isn’t only good either. There are many downsides to wanting too much support, attention, recognition and appreciation. The list could go on. You may just land up getting stuck in your own fantasy or infatuated idea of life. The wisest way to approach life is to look at it with the view that nothing is good or bad, positive or negative, right or wrong. What we experience are lessons that are delivered to us, in such a way, to help us grow, evolve and fulfil what’s most inspiring and meaningful to us.

The action of suicide will never be eliminated but it can be transformed. We can suicide our fantasies, infatuations and illusions instead of ourselves by beginning to understand and learn the balance that exists within our own lives, in nature and within the universe.

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Bullying, Entrepreneurship, Inspiration, Leadership, Relationships

How The End of My Marriage Helped Me Be Me Again

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • October 15, 2013

Over the last few months of my life, I have experienced one of the most challenging moments on my journey and I decided that I was finally ready to share with you what I’ve learnt and how it could help or benefit you. I tell stories so you may need to read carefully to uncover the lesson. If you miss it, don’t worry. It’s at the very end.

I am no stranger to challenge and I have embraced it at every turn, without fail. This challenge, however, was like no other. After 5 years, spending my life with one of the most incredible people I have had the pleasure and honour of knowing, my marriage came to an abrupt end. For those of you who have been married, been in a long-term relationship or lost someone to a death, you may be able to relate to what I will share with you. For those of you who haven’t, which may be a little unlikely, keep reading.

5 years ago I met a woman that literally stopped me dead in my tracks. Her blue eyes, bright smile, porcelain skin and unmistakable accent had me hooked from the moment she opened her mouth and started talking to me. Although I initially dismissed her, in my mind, the universe has a way of bringing things together that need to be together. And so, it did. We got on like a house on fire and from that moment forward, we started our journey together.

Just so you know, this isn’t a tale about my relationship but more a story of how this relationship helped me rediscover who I am, how I’d love to live my life and who I would love to be. This relationship opened the pandoras box of hidden beliefs and limitations that, once exposed, has changed the very trajectory of where I’m heading in my future. Some people call this type of life changing moment or event a Murphy’s Law event, which is one that cannot be ignored, dismissed or overlooked. It seemed that this event has called me into action, so here I am sharing it with you.

Over the course of our relationship, unbeknownst to me, I wasn’t being my true self. Neither was she. We had caught ourselves in an endless cycle of ‘two ships sailing past each other in the middle of the night’ and it was incredibly difficult to alter that path we were on. We had somehow dishonoured our own values and core beliefs to share this time with each other. It happens. This is normal and although, I wished to ‘fix’ it, the universe had other plans for both of us.

So here I am, separated from a human being that literally assisted me to change my life and uncover my true value, not only to myself but to others as well. You might be wondering, “well how did the end of your marriage help you live again?” Would you like to know? I’m about to tell you.

For many years in the early parts of my childhood, I was bullied for having big ears. My perception, whether accurate or not, was that people didn’t like me because of the way I looked. I stood out and somehow, I thought that it bothered people. Eventually, when my family decided to migrate to Australia when I was 15 years old, I chose to have cosmetic surgery done on my ears. I wanted them pinned back. I knew I was starting a new school and a new life, in a new country and I wanted to put myself in the best position that I could. The operation was a success. I started school and for the first time in my life, I started getting noticed but not like I had before. I was getting the kind of attention a 15 year old boy only hopes for. Girls seemed to think I was cute. From that moment forward, my life changed and I am here today, watching the ship sail away, because of how I chose to play it out.

I stepped into an alternate reality and took on a whole new identity, when I pinned back my ears, but since I was still scared that people wouldn’t like me, especially girls, I over-compensated with my affections and intentions. I did so because I wanted to keep the attention on me, which was a selfish desire within me to get what I perceived I wanted and needed. These were things I was unable to give to myself due to a lack of self-love and appreciation.

Fast forward quite a few years ahead in time. I was working as a chiropractor for someone I admired and put on a pedestal. He was, or so I thought, my ‘guru’. I admired him so much that I literally did almost anything he asked me to do. In turn I was able to work in one of the most prestigious chiropractic clinics in Australia. Over time, however, I started to become increasingly narcissistic. I felt I had no power and wanted to have more control within my career and in my life. Throughout most of that period I was heavily involved with my wife-to-be.

Around 2012, after reading Richard Branson’s ‘Losing My Virginity’, in entered Dr John F. Demartini and his groundbreaking method. I attended his program, The Breakthrough Experience and from that point forwards, my life started to change. I empowered myself, took control over my career and left chiropractic in order to pursue my vision of running my own company and serving people through coaching and personal development. It was at this point, where the cookie started to crumble and the layers of my unconscious beliefs started to unfold, piece by piece. I saw a vision of myself and what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to start giving back to myself and honour my worth and value. This strong yearning and desire within me posed many challenges in my relationship and, out of fear and guilt, I subdued my inner desires although silently working on them in the background.

Cut to today and now I am single once again with the world at my doorstep and opportunities waiting to be explored, uncovered, discovered and revealed. For so long in my life I had stopped myself from being who I am. Someone who stood out from the crowd. Someone who could never fit in because of the way I looked. Yet I tried so hard to be somebody I couldn’t be. I tried to please others and give them what I thought they wanted so they wouldn’t leave me or abandon me. I tried till the very end of my relationship too. The universe wouldn’t let me continue, no matter how much effort I put in. I was being called to action by my own mind to remember who I am, what makes me unique and to go and share that with the world. It seemed that my mind finally had enough of seeking praise, attention, recognition and appreciation from others. Instead, my mind wanted me to find all of that within me.

My wife was and is the greatest blessing I’ve ever received. She honoured her own journey and let me go and, in doing so, has helped me find and re-discover that big eared boy all over again, give him a great big self-hug, tell him how much I love him and appreciate him for who he is and what he has to offer and to say – “It’s ok to be who you are and it’s ok to be different”.

Sometimes we need to go through extreme crisis and challenge in order to experience our greatest truth about who we are. It’s never fun. It’s never easy and it certainly comes with its fair share of sadness, pain and loss but it also reveals the happiness, relief and gain that comes with it as well. So if there is one message to take away from this post today, it would be this:

Stay true to who you are, honour who you are, be ok to stand out and don’t be afraid to be different. It’s what the world needs more of.

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Bullying, Labels & Disabilities, Leadership

Active and Passive Bullying – What’s the Difference?

  • Dr Greg Schreeuwer
  • February 24, 2013

From a very young age, I was bullied quite consistently by a number of different people in my life. Some were peers, others my family and, in my later years, they showed up in my career.

For many years, I believed the reason I was being bullied by other people was because of how I looked. I had big ears when I was younger and I stood out like a sore thumb. I came to believe the way to solve my problems was to fix my ears. That seemed to be the wisest solution.

When I arrived in Australia in 1996, my parents and I decided we would go ahead with cosmetic surgery, before I started my new school in a new country. The surgery went well and low and behold, I was a new man.

I started school a week after the surgery and I began to receive attention I’d never had before. My confidence levels grew and I became more extroverted. Definite upsides, after dealing with the pain and agony I experienced after the surgery.

A year later, however, there was a dramatic turn of events which perplexed me, to the point it took the next 14 years to understand what had happened. In year (grade) 11, a big party was put on by the year 12’s and I decided I didn’t want to go.

The reason I chose not to, was because I knew people would be drinking and smoking and it just wasn’t my idea of a good time. Instead of keeping that to myself, I voiced my opinions quite strongly. Some would say I even projected them onto the rest of my grade.

As a consequence, there was a huge backlash and my classmates ostracized me for close to four weeks. I was alone and without friends to connect with. I experienced another form of bullying, yet it had nothing to do with my ears.

In the last two years, I have expanded my knowledge of human behavior and universal laws and principles. I worked through my previous years of ‘bullying’ and developed a deeper and rich understanding of the dynamic based on my own personal experiences.

I never perceived myself to be a bully, until I took the time to see where I was doing it in another form. I was, in my own mind, always the victim. I had this “always and never” attitude to life.

Then not long ago, I revisited the bullying dynamic, but from a Chinese Medical Theory perspective. I knew from my experience the body is composed of two distinct energies – a masculine and feminine energy; principles I later grounded through the work of Dr. John F. Demartini.

I also knew masculine energy is generally an active or outgoing energy and the feminine side is generally a passive or receiving energy. Both, however, do have their own respective passive and active components.

When I looked deeper, I discovered something fascinating. Something I had overlooked and never seen before. A piece of the dynamic overlooked by most. I noticed on both sides of the dynamic, with the ‘bullied’ and the ‘bully’, there were active and passive components in each.

The ‘bullied’ portrayed an active or masculine victim persona to the outside world. Yet, under the surface, there appeared to be a passive or silent ‘bully’ hiding no one could see. After taking a look into my life, I uncovered something about my reality I hadn’t recognized.

For most of my childhood, I was over protected and, at the same time, propped up on a pedestal. I was led to believe, due to being challenged I was better than other people. That I was smarter, the bigger man and so on.

In essence, my ego was silently being boosted on the inside. Naturally this helped to balance out what I was dealing with but at the same time it was also creating the very challenges I wanted to avoid.

The passive bully was building inside of me and I actively engaged that part of myself by sounding more ‘intelligent’, using my body in certain ways to assert myself and walking around with an air of superiority. This was something I had never noticed when I looked into the dynamic, but it was now evident.

I was both the ‘bully’ and the ‘bullied’ at the exact moment. I actively portrayed the victim and I was silently or passively ‘bullying’ my perpetrator without even know I was doing this. I was, to an equal degree, the cause of my own challenges by being over protected and put on a pedestal.

I had somehow manifested this process, subconsciously, to break my addictions or infatuations I had, to empower myself more and to become more humble. What a revelation this was.

I then took a look at the ‘bully’ and thought; if this pattern exists within me, then it must exist within the person or people who ‘bullied’ me. The ‘bully’ was actively challenging me. That was an obvious one and there could be no denying it, but what was the passive side? What was the feminine component in the bully?

It took some time to uncover this but I realized behind all their aggression, verbal assaults and other tools, was a passive victim. Silently they were hiding deep wounds and covering them up with bravado. The people who I had labeled for years as terrible human beings, were going through the same challenges as I was, except no one could see it.

Through all their challenges to me and others, and the subsequent punishments they received, they were getting what they needed to grow. They were subconsciously creating scenarios where they could receive nurturing, support, appreciation and care – everything I had been receiving in excess.

At the same time, they were subconsciously humbling me and others, to enable themselves to gain more power and become stronger. Elements they perceived were lacking in their lives.

In my experience, the bullying dynamic is far more complex and intricate than it looks on the surface. This issue has been tackled from so many different angles, all yielding similar results and no real transformation. Both sides of this dynamic are playing both sides towards each other at the time of interaction. They are both equally a victim and a bully.

This may be a confronting idea to digest, yet there is no denying it. We all know our parents or loved ones have propped us up when we got challenged by other people, and this action most likely inflated our egos, which we then projected onto others.

Any time a person projects their beliefs or values onto another human being, without caring about them, those people naturally close down, become defensive and aggressive in response.

We as the bully, require this humbling process to bring us back to centre and we, as the bullied, require this process to help us validate ourselves. Nothing is ever missing. This dynamic is a perfect interplay and interconnection of energies, constantly aiming to balance each other out and achieve a position of neutrality and appreciation.

“I am who I am both as a result of people who respected me and helped me, and of those who did not respect me and treated me badly.” –Nelson Mandela

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