It’s been a while since I’ve posted something on the blog so I thought I’d take a moment and share an experience with you that I went through recently, that might provide some value, insight and perspective.
Over the past 6 months, I have gone through one of my greatest challenges to date. I honestly thought that going through a divorce was tough but this one really takes the cake. In December, I decided that I wanted to scale my business and take it to the next level financially. My reason for doing so was simple. My fiancé and I had recently bought a property and I knew that I needed to build up my business and therefore my income, so we could manage everything moving forward.
I chose to invest in a company to help me position myself in the market and generate more leads. I signed on with them and spent about 4 months working with the team to get everything put together. This included me writing a book and the team building a website and a landing page and getting a marketing funnel and system all worked out. This process was one of the most stressful experience I’ve ever been through.
Eventually launch day arrived and everything was looking good. I had over 100 requests for my book and about 12 people booked themselves in for complimentary strategy sessions. I was feeling optimistic. It seemed like my hard work and their hard work, together with all money I invested, was about to pay off. I was soon to find out that, that wasn’t the case. A few weeks passed and after speaking to a number of different clients and having zero conversion, I started to get nervous. I was still spending lots of money but my return was zero. I wasn’t sure what to do.
I woke up one morning, started getting ready for work and one of the clients who’d booked herself in for a complimentary session cancelled. A switch inside of me flipped and I got super angry. I wasn’t angry at her. I was angry because this decision I’d made wasn’t moving me in the direction I wanted to go. In fact, it was costing me more and more money. I was giving so much value away. I decided I needed to cut the team loose and for us to move in separate directions. I needed to preserve myself.
On the way back from work that day, it hit me. Clarity! This was the type of clarity I had never experienced before. All of a sudden, after a whole day of working with clients and a few hours of introspection, the vision just dropped in my head. In one moment of inspiration, my target market, my ideal client, my message, my service and my vision appeared right in my mind with such crystal clarity that all I could see was the path. For the first time in my life, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.
The gains didn’t stop there. Although I initially perceived that I had lost all this money I’d invested, I started to see what that investment really paid for. I became aware of an unconscious pattern of mine that had been driving me to create success in my business and and financial life that I was completely unaware of. When I saw it, everything made sense – all the failures, road blocks, dead ends and the lack of growth of my business. Imagine having 100’s of light bulb moments all at the same time. That’s what I was experiencing.
My ego, for the most part, had been governing every action and intention I’d set and this one action of investing so much money into scaling my business and it not working out as expected was the most humbling experience I’ve ever gone through. Let me explain some more.
When I was younger I was bullied. To add more challenge into the pot, I went to a private Jewish day school from Year 2 onwards. My family came from a different financial background than the kids at school so I couldn’t even really compete or be on the same level as them. I created a belief in my mind that the only way to be appreciated, respected, valued and loved for who I am was to make lots of money and become popular (influential and successful). When I discovered this pattern, I was angry and not happy with myself. What I hadn’t quite realised was that the void I had been trying to fill for all these years, was already full. I didn’t need to be successful, wealthy or popular for people to love me because my friends, family and clients were all showing me how valuable I was and I didn’t need any of those things. In fact, they all loved me and appreciated me for just being myself. What a crazy idea, right?
It is sometimes hard to be grateful for taking these kinds of steps and discovering that they didn’t unfold as planned but I can tell you today, that I wouldn’t change it for anything. I now feel so connected to my purpose and I know that I am loved whether I succeed in business and become wealthy or I don’t. My job now is to share my message and vision so people can benefit from what I’ve learnt and become powerful leaders and inspired visionaries, mastering their destiny instead of playing victim to their history. Life is all about lessons and the lessons appear when they’re supposed to. With all the developments that are coming in the next year, now was the best time for this to happen. If it had happened earlier in my life, I know I wouldn’t have been mentally and emotionally prepared for what would lie ahead and I certainly am grateful it hasn’t happened later after getting married and starting a family.
As I always teach my clients, pain is the messenger. It’s important to pay attention and listen to the feedback it provides. When we ignore pain, we just create more of it until we reach a point when we can’t keep hiding from it anymore. If you’re going through something similar, embrace the challenge you’re going through and ask yourself how this experience is benefiting you and helping you grow and be on purpose in your life. You may uncover your soul’s purpose and wouldn’t that be an awesome thing to find?