Have you ever had a moment in your life when you just realise how thankful you are for what you have? Has that ever occurred for you? Today, I had one of those moments. In fact, it was more than just a moment for me. It lasted for most of the day.
A few days ago I was doing a bit of self-reflection and uncovered something so profound, that it changed my whole view that I’ve had of my life. It was such a powerful moment in time and it is because of what I experienced, that today unfolded. I’d like to share that with you because it seriously made such a huge impact on me.
The year I turned 8 years old, I moved from a public school to a private Jewish day school. At the time, I would say that my family were more of a lower to middle class family and the new school was mostly occupied by middle to upper class families. I think that it was the first time I was exposed to a different level of wealth compared against what I’d grown up with. I made friends with kids who had all the best toys and sports equipment – everything that I wanted, that my parents couldn’t afford at the time. I was envious of them and felt like I wanted what they had. What child wouldn’t?
Over the years, as I grew up, this desire to have what others had consumed me. In fact, when I started working at 16 years old, the feeling of having my own money to buy everything I could ever want, was an incredible thrill. Money became a friend to me all of a sudden and for the next 15 years, it helped me travel, learn, do incredible things and enabled me to live the life I envied at 8 years old. There was a problem, however. I wasn’t being myself – not even in the slightest. In all honesty, I was masquerading around as someone else, pretending that I was living an incredible life but I was heavily in debt.
About 1.5 years ago, I managed to change that situation and transformed my debt into a service I could provide to help others. That was one of my defining moments and the start of an incredibly tough, yet rewarding journey to where I am right now. For so many years, I sacrificed who I was in order to be someone that I’m not. I was ungrateful for what I had and wanted everything I thought would fulfil me and make me feel more complete. All that did was help me disconnect further away from who I am. A quest for superficial ‘things’ was destroying me and stopping me from being connected.
Two days ago, I uncovered this very interesting and somewhat disturbing revelation, that for 25 years I haven’t been me – even when I thought I was. Can you imagine the sadness of that but also the gratitude for seeing it? For a very long time, I have dealt with the challenges, pains and struggles that come with self-sacrifice. I have also been equally rewarded as this path has taught me so much about what it takes to live the most authentic life possible. All I will say to you is this: your life and who you are so important. If you choose to compromise your magic and put yourself last, you will most probably endure the same ups and downs as you move forward with your life. If you choose to uphold your worth, value and uniqueness, you will be rewarded with the deepest appreciation, connection and unconditional love that you have ever experienced. Stay true to who you are and be you, even if it’s different from what you see around you. It is by being yourself that you will uncover your greatest contribution and where you will uncover your deepest joy.