I want to dedicate this post to the people in my life, who have not only shown me what it truly means to be who I am, but who have been and continue to be incredibly special to me and close to my heart. I love you and I am truly grateful for each of you.
Over the last 3 years of my life I have experienced and witnessed loss on a number of different levels and I wanted to take the time to share my insights with you. I can tell you that loss is not fun nor is it something to look forward to. As most of you probably know, it is not something you would necessarily wish upon anybody. Yet, despite its apparent challenges, it somehow brings about a change that was and is necessary.
The only way I can do justice to such a topic is to share a part of my own journey with all of you. In the past 4 months of my life I have experienced varying degrees of loss, in a number of different forms, that left me with an immeasurable amount of pain in those moments. I had no idea how I was going to overcome the challenges I was dealing with and the thought of transcending the pain seemed an impossibility.
One of those was losing a huge part of my identity and, for the last 2 months, I have been desperately trying to hold onto that ‘old version’ of myself. In my attempt to do so, I hit one brick wall after the other which left me wondering that something was trying to possibly send me a very clear message that I didn’t want to see. After running into my final hurdle, it hit me. Stop trying so hard to hold onto who you were and what you did. Stop trying to recreate it or even reinvent it. It’s time to embrace this challenge, let go, give in and see the blessings that are unfolding.
Adding to that loss was another dramatic one. I lost my best friend. Now, this is a road I’ve been down before many times, but this time was different. I know, people say that every time something like this happens. In this case, however, it truly was different. When you ‘lose’ someone you love, it is something that can either tear you apart or help you grow. Not only did it tear me apart, it broke me down to the very core of who I am.
There comes a time in life when you are faced with having to look at who you are and why you’re here. The loss of this friend was the biggest challenge I’ve had to face so far because of everything that encompassed that loss. It did, however, open my eyes to a part of myself that I didn’t even know was there. I saw for the first time, why I got myself to where I am in my life. All I’ve been wanting is to receive validation and attention from others without realising that I’ve never really needed it. All I really needed to do was accept myself, start having fun again in my life and be the very essence of who I am. What a blessing! This only left me loving my best friend even more but in a way that I can’t explain and can’t even put into words. It transcends space, time and all boundaries. It has become ever present.
Yes, loss is hard. Yes, it is painful. Yes, it sucks like hell! Yes, we wish we could change it but if we did change it, how would we grow? How would we evolve and what would we really learn about who we are without it? Is it necessary? Yes it is. Do we like it? Absolutely not but nothing worth having in life comes when things are too easy.
To the people I love and those I am yet to meet and connect with, although your losses may be challenging and believe me, I am with you on that, just know one thing. When you go through a loss in life, no matter what form it manifests for you, you are given an opportunity to open up a space for something new and exciting to enter in. That space, no matter how hard it is to confront or be present with, was and is meant to happen so you can gain what inspires you, who and what truly fulfils you and what allows you to grow to your maximum potential. Embrace this with all your heart because whatever or whoever you lost wouldn’t want it any other way. That I am sure of.