In nature and in human life a relationship exists between two opposite energies, equal in force, equal in power and equal in measure. In nature, we call these two energies – predator and prey. In human beings we have many labels for this – good and bad, positive and negative, hero and villain or victim and bully.
These relationships are defined by the laws of nature – the very laws that govern the way our planet functions, the way nature governs itself and the way our physiology maintains balance and homeostasis. No matter how much we choose to deny or even defy these relationships, they continue to exist. As human beings, we take it upon ourselves to try and overpower nature and redefine the relationships between these two energies.
In the bullying dynamic, this is something we have been attempting to do for many years, just as we have tried to accomplish this in healthcare, in economics, in business structures, in politics and so many other areas. No matter how much energy and effort we put into trying to change the dynamics of this exchange in nature, they permeate and actually expand. It is no wonder that the bullying dynamic has reached an ‘epidemic’ proportion. It would be wise to explore this relationship further in order to create transformation and forge a new path.
There are two charges that exist in nature and in all living things. We label them as a positive charge and a negative charge. These two charges make up every single atom that you can see, touch, smell, taste and even hear. In human physiology, every single part of who we are is compromised of these two charges and in order for us to maintain balance in our bodies, these charges need to be in harmony with one another. If we look at some of the systems within our bodies, at closer inspection, we can see that even at a systemic level, there is balance. The Chinese have taught this for thousands of years.
On a psychological level, we all have the capacity to do ‘good’ and to do ‘evil’. There is not one person living on this planet who hasn’t done both, in one form or another. We can be selfish and selfless. We can be weak and we can be strong. We experiences peace as much as we experience war and we definitely have moments of support mixed in with moments of challenge. We cannot live without one or the other. In fact, the laws of nature dictate that these opposites come in pairs. They co-exist together, at the same time. They may not be present together in the same space. They can be far apart, like the opposite poles of the earth. This is called non-locality in Quantum Physics. Yet, they are synchronous.
When we look deeper into the bullying dynamic, it is clear to see the two opposites. On one side is the challenger with strength, power, apparent confidence and control. On the other side, is the receiver who, to us, displays weakness, lack of power, lack of confidence and, what appears to be a lack of control. They are total opposites of one other. They co-exist together. It is hard, however, to separate our emotions from the facts and from what we observe. We allow our emotions, which often times stem from our own wounds, to determine the outcome of this pair of opposites. Since our desire for peace outweighs our understanding of war, we seek to stop one side and promote the other. We fail to see that each side has both strength and weakness and that they are both providers of challenge and recipients of challenge. They are one and the same, experiencing their journey through the situations they’ve grown up in, while showing the other how to embrace another way forward.
We elevate the victim and suppress the bully. We favour one over the other. Would you do that with your right lung versus your left lung? Would you favour one side of your brain over the other? Would you shut down one part of your autonomic nervous system in favour of the other? Would you seek only darkness instead of daylight and land instead of water? In your relationships with your family, partners or children, would you want it to be happy all the time or would that get boring? I would imagine, that with all those examples, the answer would be no. Why is that? It’s because we know that in life, those opposites belong together. They require each other in order to fulfill their individual potentials. They can’t exist without supporting and challenging each other.
So too is the case in the relationship between ‘bully’ and ‘victim’. They are part of a tapestry that promotes growth, evolution, individuality, purpose and deeper understanding within human beings. Denying that this balance or relationship is required is like denying half of who you are, and that is impossible. Accepting that life provides challenge, sometimes in the form of a ‘bully’, is a step forward for the evolution of humanity.